Heavens Wail, Guitars Weep, Ode to George

The only regret I carry from childhood is the lack of skills or patience to play a musical instrument. Its raining outside. Dark, grey, gloomy, a hint of mist hanging in the air and woeful strings of George Harrison. 'While my guitar gently weeps'. The strings twang in succession, one slowly dragging into the focus the next. Such is the song, written by Harrison scoffed aside by Lennon.

Harrison went ahead and recorded the track with another legend and friend Eric Clapton. Clapton and other artists have covered this track in later years.The gentle and quaint Harrison referred by most as the quiet Beatle was the more spiritual amongst the fab four, converted to Hinduism later in his life. He was often overshadowed by the more flamboyant and lively Lennon and McCartney throughout most of his career. Fallouts between McCartney, Harrison and Lennon towards the end of the 70s sealed the deal for the legendary band. He was also very much into Indian classical music and introduced it to western mainstream music. He was introduced to Pandit Ravi Shankar in '65 and soon both went on to become good friends. The Beatles through George had been introduced to Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and was introduced to Transcendental Meditation.

After their breakup in '69, Harrison was the first Beatle to have a Solo No#1 hit. A heavy smoker, he battled lung cancer throughout the 90s. Survived a knife attack in '99 which left him with a punctured lung. He succumbed to cancer, that re-emerged and was found to be terminal. He passed away on November 29, 2001. Location was kept secret to avoid avid fans scrambling for memorabilia. In the last few months, he and McCartney had made peace after years of hurt and pain.

Originally from Liverpool, the Beatles broke into the music scene in the early '60s to forever change the face of the music industry. So powerful was their success and achievement, the history of the music industry is divided into two eras.. Before-the-Beatles and After-the-Beatles. In no time they swept the charts in the UK and eventually Beatlemania creeped up across the pond and took over America by storm. At one point in '64 they held the top 5 spots on the Billboard top 100 list, a feat that has never been matched since. "Can't Buy Me Love," #2 - "Twist and Shout," #3 - "She Loves You," #4 - "I Want to Hold Your Hand" and #5 - "Please Please Me,"

Everything came to an end with the Album 'The Beatles' or the White Album as it is popularly known. Their last commercial album Let it be, was released in 1969.

Okay, what started with the weather ended up being a rather detailed piece on George Harrison. Hmm such be the muses with smokes. I better get back inside and dry up.

Some women!

Due to a certain nature of this post, I was forced to retract some parts of the original. But here is what remains.....

Here is a conversation I had with someone I had on my yahoo messenger list. Least to say, I might have been thankfully removed from her list by the end of the conversation.


Do not judge me.. oh wait.. yeah go ahead.. screw you all.

GJ: okay so?
born_2u_win: so... is he think that i'm ignorin him?
GJ: are you a libran?
born_2u_win: no
born_2u_win: why
GJ: whats your star sign?
born_2u_win: why
GJ: thought psychosis was limited to Librans
born_2u_win: WHAT
GJ: oui so whats your star sign?
born_2u_win: cancer
GJ: i guess they are nuts too oh well
born_2u_win: v. funny
born_2u_win: can u plz tel me
born_2u_win: now what shd i do now
GJ: that you are nuts?
GJ: sure..
GJ: You are nuts.
born_2u_win: ya
born_2u_win: fine
born_2u_win: tel me yaar
born_2u_win: shd i cal or sms him or wait for his cal
GJ: jesus. you want to talk to him call him
born_2u_win: i caled yesterday but he said he'l cal me
born_2u_win: so let him cal
GJ: then he'll call you
GJ: if he wants to
born_2u_win: what if i cal him rite now n he dont wanna talk then
GJ: then he doesnt wanna talk
GJ: ever think that mebbe he might find you too annoying to talk to ?
born_2u_win: means
born_2u_win: why
GJ: thats something you might want to ask yourself.
GJ: why are you asking me to solve your issues?
born_2u_win: want sum help
GJ: yeah you need help alright
born_2u_win: then help me
born_2u_win: god
GJ: yeah i meant help as in meds, a shrink and a straight jacket.
born_2u_win: :-|
GJ: aye now you get the picture. mebbe..
born_2u_win: hey
born_2u_win: shutup
GJ: lol
born_2u_win: :-P
GJ: oh wait i wasnt even joking
GJ: have you tried a psychologist?
born_2u_win: go to hell
GJ: my pleasure

Now that was fun.

Super Heros

Initially this post was about a game of dice called craps as many have been a little curious and confused about my yahoo/msn nickname 'sNaKe EyEs'. But then thought the Osgoode IT Helpdesk techies need a mention. Specially since they make me look good! The Obiter, Osgoode's newspaper did a feature on the IT Department this week. Here is the direct link to the Online Edition Obiter Dicta

For those of you who dont have access to highspeed or really dont want to go through the whole thing.. here is the article:

Ten Reasons Why Osgoode's IT Helpdesk Staff should have Superhero Complexes

1. Their superior communication skills. Can you come up with thirty ways to explain how to find the "Start" button on your computer's desktop? No seriously…try…I'll give you a minute. What if we offer you a prize? Still nothing? 'nuff said.

2. An uncannily cheery disposition. Despite being holed up in a windowless fish bowl-like headquarters, you'll always be greeted with a smile within thirty-seconds of when you first tap on the glass (now compare this with other window services at Oz).

3. Mystery headquarters element. Although the fish bowl seems innocent enough you have to ask, what is that discreet back room for anyway? With space at a premium the way it is at Oz, it must be important.

4. Ability to make the impossible possible or leap tall buildings with a single bound. Like that time you needed to print your 150-page Ph.D. thesis in the ten minutes before it was due, using only the performance-challenged Smalley-Baker Lab printer, or that other time you showed up late for your exam and couldn't get your summary to print.

5. Courage. They'll fix or at least try to fix anything that is wrong with your computer that doesn't involve use of a screwdriver. There are some pretty screwed up ways to make your computer stop working.

6. They're not law students. This instantly makes them more charming, more interesting, and more entertaining to converse with as they diagnose your computer. Plus contact with the outside world is good for us, I promise.

7. Crisis management instincts. They regularly and civilly deal with excessively high-strung individuals for whom laptop failure is as emotionally scarring as your parents forgetting to show up for your kindergarten holiday concert. As a high-strung law student, was this my fate, I would have, more likely than not, broken down and assumed the foetal position while rocking in the corner incessantly whimpering "I hate my life."

8. Two words: super-hero uniforms. The now infamous IT t-shirt clearly demonstrates their superiority and distinguishes them from their Clarke Kent alter egos.

9. Their mysteriousness. Aside from seeing them swoop in and out of the technology challenged professor's classroom, nobody understands the hidden depths of the front line IT staff.

10. Upstanding moral fibre…this one is selfexplanatory.

That being said, thank you Amanda and team for their kind words to the humble minions at the desk. The bastard child of Oz ITS salutes you and will make sure that your 2 new dells are installed and fired up as early as possible.

Pipe Dreams

White curtains, early morning light starting to stream through. A section of the wall was all windows. French. One of them was ajar. The curtain moved when a light breeze found its way into the room. She slides off the bed...rumpled sheets.. she turns towards the soft light and begin to bunch up her hair, tying it into a bun.. she turns sideways and looks back at me, her lips curling to an impish grin. I reach out for my camera and snap away. It was perfect. The lighting, the pose.. and... I wake up.

But she had smiled. Thats a first, she smiled. I remember the face. Eyes without a face .. a face without a name.. As the day progresses, identities take shape and the smoke spires dissipates.. she fades, the curtains are drawn open.. beds are made. coffee cup rings on counter top, lipstick on the shirt collar, unfnished letter..reminders, traces.. empty picture frames and memories that remain unmade...

This post reminded me of a poem I once started writing. Never finished it ofcourse, back there was a steady flow of thought and words. Thought I should share an excerpt from it.

Swirling dust, trapped in light
peers through shutters,prying eyes.
streaks the floor..the wall..
phantom frames..no longer grace,
smiling faces behind glass plates.
Flower-pots stacked..the flowers long gone
broken cups and hearts. muted phones veiled in dust..

Equinox

An almost perfect song for the day would be Rocket Man by Elton John. I rather like the Shatner edition to the whole thing as well.. its a riot but unique.'

And i think it's gonna be a long long time
Till touch down brings me round again to find
I'm not the man they think i am at home
Oh no no no i'm a rocket man
Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone...'

On the way to work yesterday, staring at the purple-black autumn skies, and listening to the lyrics of a half forgotten iconic metal band from the 80s, I made up my mind. Got to work, poured myself a coffee, a fag or two, thought about it one last time, and then went up to the Bossman and quit. Well atleast given notice, the 'quit' sounded better for a dramatic effect. So thats now almost in stone, April-May 07, Sayonara Oz. Time to fix some of the leaks in the tub. I'd spare the mental angst as this blog isnt for whines and groans, just thoughts.

The trees are slowly turning to their fall colours. Flaming red. Soon the woods will look like they are on fire, a carpet of orange, yellow, red and brown will form over the lush green lawns and backyards.. and the flora will be going to sleep for the long winter. I should include some pictures of past winters here. Once I figure out how to add them.

Capitalism, tombstones and endless roads

I was driving by hicksville USA down the I-219 to state college, PA, and was rather curious to notice candles on every window. Some electric, some looked like the real McCoy. Maybe they were just better quality electric ones. It was pretty late at night and keeping my eyes square on the road was more of a challenge. For most parts it was rural roads with a scattering of houses every few miles. The houses were dark by this time, with its occupants safety tucked in bed. The glowing candles had a welcome feel to it. It was like a light for a child or spouse who was away and was expected any minute.

I started digging up into the reason behind this practice. Apparently its very common in the east than the south, where its mostly during the Christmas festive season. Some mentioned it as light for the soldiers returning from war. Another group put it out after 9/11 as a sign of respect and mourning.

Another common sight down this route seem to be antique stores and cemeteries. I stop by one of them for a quick smoke and a breather. Some of these gravestones were marked from the 19^th century. The writings were faded and the sites were showing signs of faltering upkeep. Hmm loads of dead people and others selling of selling the deceased's wares. Capitalism in its true sense.

Testing blog via email

So i thought, why not set this up. I am on the road a lot and hitched with a bberry. The thought process gets working when I'm stuck in a certain situation or two.

While on the post, thought I'd add a few more things... I've decided that I never really had much to say. The more important posts are too personal and I rather not have it online. I will go through my personal journal to see if there was anything significant or interesting. Most of it being doodles and idle mulling of a senile mind.

Tried to sift through the Yahoo 360 blog. Didn't find anything of any value or use. more junk. I'll be cleaning out the profile later this week.

-------------------------------------------------
"per astera ad astram"

Meteora

All we are looking for is a constant. Something to balance our equations. A missing variable that would end an endless sequence of figures and variables. Or maybe thats just me.

So i was sitting outside and smoking a cigarette... looked up and I saw an old friend.. Orion is back in the skies. Winter is almost here. He asked me... and I gave him the same response I give every year for the last 2 decades or so since I saw him first. he chuckled and twinkled from above.

Someone once asked 'Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star, One without a permanent scar...' Shooting stars.. magnificent, majestic and sparks your mundane existance for an instance.. Is it wrong to fall for 'em ? Perhaps. But that one instance.. one flash.. if they ever knew.. They'd always have the Observer.. he'd be the constant.. the 'c' after you integrate. They needn't always be accounted for. But if need be yes..

Disappointing.. to some extent.. disheartening.. very.. But the night skies be full of 'em again tomorrow.. maybe.. just maybe.. Hate compromising, its just not an Arien thing..

---------
Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the milky way
And tell me, did venus blow your mind
Was it everything you wanted to find
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there

------- Train - Drops of Jupiter

Whiskey by the Barrel load

The light at the end of the tunnel could be the signs of an oncoming train...

Thats pretty much the view we keep in mind when working at the Oz. The unit has given me quite a lot. Experience, an unbelievable amount of patience and a certain intuitive knack that seems to be integral for all network admins ( although my official job discription doesn't involve administering the network here).

Things started off with a rough Monday and progressed slowly as issues were found, fixed and fumbled with. The front lines are still holding. Mostly due to the diligence and the earnest approach by all my techs. ( yes! they are MY men not 'the' techs). Keep their nicotine levels high and the alcohol levels higher and there is no Juggernautical force out there that can't be overcome.

Have I mentioned before that I can't deal with incompetence? The best kept open secret in all organizations is that the work of the whole is actually really done by 2-3 key personnel. Just to be fair, Oz is great. Most and at this point please read between the lines... MOST of the techs I work with ( this doesnt include my men, we are one entity) are brilliant and very competent. I guess you can't have it all. That would just be too perfect. Again in argument for the slacker.. I guess it is really difficult to copy profiles and rename. All those clicks and keystrokes and changing windows. gosh I feel stressed out thinking about it.

In other news I got a new object of affection. Havent seen her yet. She should be coming by real soon. Real reall reall soon. mmmmmm lets call her cassie for now ( Cassandra)

Oz Status: All Units Green.

Just another brilliant Monday

Another week begins. Brilliant start, around 5 AM i wake up from a dream.. I know I was dreaming about something about the New England Patriots ( leftovers from an episode of Family Guy) and suddenly the phone starts ringing. In my dreamscape, the number pops up as 'Outside Caller' and for some reason I couldnt seem to switch it off. It was driving me out of my mind. Then, I wake up, and search for the f-ing blackberry that was bleeding ringing in the middel of the night, tucked away under layers of clothes in the laundry hamper.. guh..

Day 3.. nicotine free.. and dying! Ironic. But I did tell T that I'd give it a shot, well even if it is for only a few days.

Its 11:00 AM, Mailserver is still down and 3 cups of coffee later I'm wired, gittry and in need of a damn smoke! Maybe I should blog my recovery from smoking. Hows that for starts? I wonder if I can get a chest xray and see the damage and post every couple of months graphic images of a diseased lung.

Well on the flip side, the lungs get better as the liver gets larger. Doesnt seem like GJ is going to sign the organ donation card. Do they use fingers or toes for transplants?

Update: 12:22 -> Server still down.

Starlight star bright

The only day of the week I get back home early and guess what.. The lights go out! The whole sub division was engulfed in shadow only to be briefly illuminated by the random flash of lightning.

Darkness and candlelight takes me back over the decades to instances in the past. One vivid memory is grams and the old house. We were lil 'uns back then. Once the lights went out ( which it did quite often back then ) we used to huddle together and she used to recant stories of my uncles childhood antics. It was like she had chronicled the whole thing, his growing years. There was always a spark and glint in her eyes everytime she retold them and we'd never get tired of listening to them.

Fastforward a couple of years into college, the power went out right before the exams. The university used to be near the gold mines so the surrounding, but distant buildings, were on the national grid. They resembled stars as well, distant, faint and ancient.The rest of the countryside was pitch black, people relying on either moonlight or starlight to navigate through the meandering country roads and paths. And the skies? adorned with stars, millions of them. I'd never seen so many stars in my entire life! On a clear night you could see the band of the milky way and shooting stars. God the number of shooting stars I've seen! Do you believe in wishing on shooting stars? I know I do/did. It might have been an act of desperation at the time.

Maybe I just had a lot of time on my hands back then, to gaze and ponder on the light from distant gaseous bodies now possibly long dead and gone. You feel the growing distance as the years go by.. reminds me of a poem from schooldays..
`Tis was childish innocence but of little joy,
to know that I'm further off from heaven
than when I was a boy..'

Now the sodium lights blot out these dreamy tapestries and the constant drone of machinery and modes of transport distract you for those delicate seconds a meteor streak by. I will close this entry with a mention of a iconic character, Major Tom, from an iconic year 1969.

I still hang on every word

In a world of faded memories
Where you're still in love with me
I can see it in your eyes
A look as if your major tom has lost control.

PS: The above song was actually by Cold - A different kind of pain. Major Tom is the main character mentioned in the track - Space Oddity by David Bowie, released in 1969. The release was to mark the Moon Landing.

CarnEvil

So I thought i should get around more and maybe be a lil more benevolent to my fellow creatures . Hence I ended up going for the Bharatiya event last night. After dropping my folks off initiallyand checking on the office coz the nimrod couldn't figure out how to lock it, I arrived a few hours earlier than I was expected. Found myself getting thirstier as the minutes ticked away. So I dropped by my favorite pub at York ( Cock'n'Bull) every few minutes to wet my whistle and more importantly keep my sanity.

It was interesting to watching kids. There is a time in your life where you do things that makes yourself look stupid by default. As you grow older you need external stimuli to induce stupidity.

I sat in the background and watched a whole slew of kids do that yesterday. I remember our own stuff back in the day. Nothing close to any of these tame ones.

The universal shape or structure is a sphere in 3d or circle in 2d. The planets, the structure of atoms, Ring of Power, The Halo Ring, marks on my term paper...
Everything goes around in a full circle. I went back to my first job last night. Deja Vu.

This weekend, I'm going to get something that I've been meaning to get in a long time..... Sleep.

-----------------------------------
"'When the moon is full and trees are bare,
walk through the cemetary if you dare.
Where skeletons rot and corpses fester,
locate the tomb with the skull of a jester.
Feed him the token all shiny and new,
it is then that CarnEVIL will return for YOU!'"

Life Universe and Duct Tape

Sometimes you are the windshield, sometimes you are the bug.

And sometimes you are the guy standing on the curb minding ur own business and get splashed by the asshole driving the car.

I seem to get more and more disconnected from the world. I know what A is talking about . Specially when you relate your personal life to the universe... scattered thoughts through a big dark void, held together by chaotic, unexplainable forces....
sorta like 'The Force' from star wars... .. or duct tape.

Neverending Mondays

How is it that no matter what you try, mondays just drag onn forever.,... Had a 12 hr work day today. 7:30 in the morning till 7 at night.

*Remember to talk to boss about converting all that overtime to cash* ..

Sometimes conversations are like a drug. The mind aches for the fix. The pain and spasms ravage you till the words douse you in a sweet ether.


--------------------
"Every thought that I repent,
There's another chip you haven't spent,
And you're cashing them all in, Where do we begin.
To get clean again,
Can we get clean again. "
------------ Third Eye Blind

Eras end. New trails

It is official now. The 90s is finally over.

M flies down to Singapore in weeks time. Everyone else has moved out of Blr. Everyone.. but one. The days of thunder have passed. The seaons have moved on.In time the cycle will repeat. The winds will change, good times will come again and We'll rock like the Hurricane.

At a distance the shores of the Emerald Isle glistens.

Folks are going back to the old country this week. 2 weeks, 5 cities, mayhem.

Watching the snow settle down.. like a blanket, it covers everything. All know or existing roads, paths, trails covered and leveled. you get to make you're own trails and paths. Start over.

A word of advice.. dont taste the 'yellow' snow cones.

Weekend

Is it here yet ? Friday.. ahh. So the Reading week is coming to an end and the mayhem will begin again.

Paperwork.. we are techs, we shouldn't have to do paperwork!

Rewind-Rewire

Havent been to this site in a while. Well time for new beginnings , new stories.

So I'm in the prime of life.. seems like somone smiled and showed me the way ahead... things are looking good.. house, car money, ok we'll skip the last one.

Quick recap from the last few months :


Bought a new Condo. I'll add some pics of it later this week. Its pretty slick. After the sale, i've been pretty much wiped out. Flat broke.

Work chews up your spirit and your creativity I guess. I havent done a single new piece of work since '03. I should try something. Need something / someone to write about. Ideas anyone ?